Love story doesn't always end up in happily ever after.
It can jus be a beautiful journey wif no ending..no goodbye..

I met him on May 15th 2006.
I rem i was upset over my lost of job in Adecco.. soo i went to Zouk wif Libin.
2 pathetic gals going club on a friday nite...
I saw Mingrui when i first stepped into Phuture.
And slowly, i saw everyone from my sec sch... including him.
We danced. We chatted. But i was not attracted to him. I was such a meanie, cos i nv like guys who are abt the same height as me. To be frank, i was interested in Mingrui instead.
When i was abt to leave Phuture, he asked me for my number. I smiled at him and said it was not convenient.

Frenster was the 'in' thingy back den..
He msged me via Frenster. He asked me, if i am interested to go club on the following fri. I told him, i am going for short getaway to bintan.
Soon, he added me in frenster and msn.

I told libin, why the one who i wish will contact me did not contact... and the one i least expect... msg me instead. -_-"
And how he got my contact number.. he wanted me to wake him up for world cup den. Thats when we got started as frens.

We chatted in msn. And he noe i studied in SIM.
I nv really hav the mood toking to him most of the time.. I rem i was having my nite classes, and he msged me... he asked me out for dinner. I told him i was having lesson til 9ish and i was going home wif my frens.. He said. "Can, i pick u up from your sch and is ok for ur frens to join us. The more the merrier."

My lesson ended. He drove a BMW to sch. I rem joce told me... this guy is rich! he drove a BM.. i was pretty ignorant, i dun even noe which car is for rich ppl, which is not. We went to the prata coffee shops along bukit timah. For the entire session, he didn't spoke much. Cos i asked too much abt Mingrui.

The next few days, he deleted me in frenster and msn. I did not ask him whats the reason. Prolly becos i wasn't interested in him yet.


1 month later, he came to msn and chatted wif me out of a blue. My r/s was on a rock den. I don't rem his email address and asked him who he is. He said daniel. And the next moment, i fuk him for deleted me in frenster. We luffed it over.

Things started to change.
My feelings for him grew. He told me alot abt him. He live each day at a moment while i aim for a goal, a direction. But becos i was upset over my r/s... i tell myself why not jus find a company since i was single... Since it is not going to last, even is merely for a 3 months r/s... why not try? We chatted over the phone, we chatted in msn. We asked me to help him purchased toys for his nephews who admitted in hospital. Out of goodwill, i helped him searching high and low for something his nephews wants while he was away for Biz trip in Indonesia.

When he was back, i fell sick. High fever. no voice.
He bought J-co donut for me and my family. He told me to eat the original one and not the choco one. He passed me bird nest. His granny will make bird next for everyone during everyone's bday... and see me falling soo sick.. he past me his share.

I rem got one occasion when after my lesson, he picked me up from sch.. knowing i was seriously ill.. high fever, no voice. And he went to watson and bought me one med for my lost of voice. I felt he was really sweet... =)

I cant find the toys his nephews wanted.. So on one weekday.. he picked me up after his work, we went to town to look ard for toys.. After finding the one he wanted, we headed to Chomp Chomp for dinner. It was my first time there.. and i was fancinated wif the extra large bamboo juice. I took a pic on it. And next we went to his Sissy's place to pass the toys to the kids.

Our journey somehow started from there. We had watched our first movie white chick as a frens.

He called me on 9th Aug when i broke up wif my ex bf. He asked me out for supper but i turn him down. As my exams in SIM bridging class were approaching, i was out most of the time for studying... and he had fallen sick den. I like him den so after seeing how much he did for me, i bought bukit timah fish porriage for him once in the midst of my lesson..
And another time was i came back from airport, i dropped by his place. I bought him ban mian. That day was 12 Aug 2006.

We started on that day. I rem when his lips touches mine... i was in a loss. His first question to me wasn't can i be his gf... but is 'mingdrui how?' I smiled to him, and i told him to settle himself.

After get together, our first movie as a couple was The break up. I was thinking... we jus started.. and we were watching the break up.. is not a vry good sigh. He luffed at me for being stupid.

I rem the good times we had. In the beginning of the r/s, i wasn't very much attached to him. I kept telling myself we can only last for 3 months or less. So i do not dare to commit myself as i nv once been in a r/s where i hav no direction... but i stay on becos i wanna try... and i realised, i started to fall for him... and it gets deeper as it passing days.

We were not vry much attached den... he had his own programmes while i had mine over the weekends... and most of the time, i was always pinning for him to call and ask me out.. Due to my ego, i acted like i dun care.. but the fact is, i always wait for him.. and slowly i realised.. i save my time for him.

On our 1st month, he wanna brought me to somewhere nice. But i told him, it is not as if we are going to end next month.. why celebrate or wish? To me, the date worth rem is Aug 12.. is not Set 12. is not oct 12.

I love him for his every unexpected move. I rem, i was giving tuition at burgundy.. He surprised me wif a mini stool which stated "Daniel, my yaodao bf bought me this beautiful stool, so i must treasure it." He even tried to write in a way is like a female's handwritting.. in order to convince my frens that it was written by me. =)

I rem theres one time when he came over to my place for dinner... and we took loads and loads of pics.. we were vry close den... basically we stick tgt like glue.. well, i guess tats happen when anyone is in the honeymoon stage of the r/s...

I rem this piece of memory when he came to my place.. and after dinner, he came up wif one romantic idea when we were out strolling. He said lets see which bus come den, we will board the bus. 965 came den, we happily sat on the bus... and we alighted at Kovan for tao huay. While we were on our way home, he told me... "I don't wan the nite to end soo fast. Why time passes faster whenever i am wif u...?"

I love him for showering care to me thru actions.
I was roller blading wif my frens... and i sprained my knee.. despite falling sick.. he stil came over and sent me to chinese doc and sent me home be4 KO at home.. and went MIA for a few days...
I love him even be4 he had fully recovered, he stil came and fetched me to chinese doc for 2nd review.

No one can really understand why i feel for him soo much..and to be frank, i didn't the main reason as well..
It jus merely explains, i love him more than he love me.

I love him for always having me in his life. He always include me in his family... wif the loveable kids.. And thanks to him, i feel love on his family side...
I love him for him trying to find ways and means to disturb me... Be it a strong slap on the thighs, be it a finger poke on the cheek... be it a strong touch light shine straight to the eyes..
I love him for making me giggle and luff when we are on the bed... we will use our elbow to press hard on each other's legs.. we will tok like the loveable kids.. and luff it over.. we will indulge ourselves wif food.. and thou we nv really eat at fancy restuarants.. i am contented wif chomp2, lavender food center, cheap teppanyaki at TM... zhu cha dang..chompang nasi lamek.
I love him when no matter how much we fought, we argued, we quarrelled... we will always end up tgt... sealed wif kiss and a warm hugs... and the feeling nv lessen... prolly is on my side only...
I love him for being honest wif me, no matter what circumstances.. even wif phases i dun wish to hear...
I love him when i enjoy looking at him when he was aslp, cos he jus look sooo innocent, sooo peaceful...
I love him when he constantly remind me to improve myself... and always give me chances when i failed.
I love him for being short, ego, confident, workaholic.
I love him for finding my legs in the middle of nites... cos he jus noe i need to hook his legs in order to slp.
I love him when i massage him... and he will always complaint that i am not good enough... and i will find my ways to cut short the time.. haha.
I love him when he come to me and hug me from the back.. and behave like kid when he wan me to do the same to him...
I love him for loving my scents.
I love him for finding ways to suggest frens to watch the movie i wan, to eat the dinner i long to eat.
I love him for every single surprises he gave me... and is always very unexpected.
I love him complaining to me on everything that happened in his life.
And despite he is not the one i am looking for, but i stil love him... the imperfect him. The whole package of him.

Our story ended. And it ended w/o a fullstop, w/o an ending. w/o a closure.

It has been 11 days w/o him...
And i noe it is really going to come to an end now.

I dunno how much courage it takes for me to look back those memories i had wif him... and how painful it takes for me not to mention Us in the future... My blog no longer hav shen in my life.

I am having high fever now, my temp goes up and down like a roller coaster... I am voiceless. Kelly told me not to self-torture myself and drown myself in agony.
And i promised her, after i am well... i am going to move on. I will be stronger, and chose not to be damned.
I am going to bury our memories and put him behind my back... He shall be my history.

Really not interested in r/s... i intent to give myself a break and fully concentrate on my work. I am going to work extra hard for my career.
No one is going to affect my life from now onwards.

As for r/s, i am stil hopful for a true love, the one. I still believe shen is the one, the missing piece. Yet for some reasons, he left the picturee..
I will pin for a day to come, some1 will replace Shen in my heart. And i noe it will take a long long time.................

Lets be honest wif my feeling, cos i noe if he ever come back to me... i will still open the door for him.

I tot he called... and i felt soo good when i tot is his voice.. but... i teared immediately when i noe is wai loon who called.