The first time im praying hard, real hard.

Dear God,

Let this be the last post on the break up..i hope.

It has been one month plus. And my mood sway up and down like a roller coaster.
I can be blaming him when i feel like i hav gotten over... and i feel like life is good and everything is a relief. On the other hand, i can feel sooo fuk up and unstable at times, and i put all the blames on myself till i feel suffocating and heart wrecking.

At times, i feel like i don't even wan to noe everything abt him, his life his everything. Perhaps, we cant even be frens... But when he blocked me from viewing his FB, i was in a lost... and keep asking why he has to be sooo heartless and i hope to see him again and be frens in the future.

During this process of recovery, I feel lost, and has been often contradicting myself... most imptly, i hate myself more for feeling this way and been asking why this journey of recovery has been soo tough so tiring.

I seriously don't wan to be on this emotional ride. I pray, pls i pray.. please give me the courage to cont, see me thru this hardship and allow me to be stronger....
I just want to lead a happier life...