Time flies.
Work keeps me busy.
Family makes me feel love..
Frens makes me feel more complete.

Is it a kind of happiness? i guess is more of a relieve.
Like i said, i chosed to stay in comfort zone, i chosed to live in denial, i chosed to find 3 yrs plus r/s a waste, but i nv see all these are signs of an overdue r/s.

I love him still?
I refuse to think of this question.
I miss him still?
I refuse to look at our pics, read my past blog entries, i threw away all the movie tics, entrances tics to flyers and F1 and every other stuff tat will remind me of him. I do not allow myself for any free time to remind me of him.. and even if i hav the time... i chose to rem the times tat he hurt me badly.
Do i wan to see him again?
Nooo. I don want to hear his name, i don wan to take the train track towards yew tee... Anything abt him, i simply cant be bothered.

In short, i jus feel disgusted towards him, towards this r/s...

I am going thru the 2nd stage of hating him.
I hate him for placing me high up the sky and dropping me down harshly.
I hate him for not being able to face me and disappear himself for 2 weeks.
I hate him for being selfish, a controller in my life.. A good example, he asked me wat i wan to eat, i told him mushroom swiss.. he ordered whopper at burger king.
I hate him for loving himself more than he love me.
I hate him for being such a bastard.
I hate him for being an egoist, insensitive, self centered shit.

And the worse thingy, i hate myself more than i hate him... cos i allow him to do all these to hurt me.

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pics and pics over the past few days.