Allow myself to do something against my wish, is simply like using a virtual knife and stab my heart several times.. despite feeling hurt and painful, i am dragging my hands and feets into doing it. I don't like to scan my passport details to him. I hate i am not the one going to dive. I hate to force myself to move on.. and moving on on his side is as easy as abc.

Like i said, the one being left behind find it harder to move on.

Colm scolded me for living in the past whenever i did something that makes me think of him. He said in such way, i can nv move on. But i told him, ppl often love to live in the comfort zone, chose to live in denial and finding hundreds and thousands of reasons to defence him, to protect him. Along the way, i hav even forgotten how to protect myself, and i end up becoming more fragile.

Ppl change, surrounding change. The MOS burger outlet at jubilee where it held a certain significant memories there, had changed into popeyes.
Thou how much i wish that such places will remain as it is, memories will cont to stay alive and not dead... slowly, i noe i hav to accept the harsh reality that memories is not taken by anyone else but is the surrounding which steal those memories away. How much i wish i can really storm thru the changes wif him...and ppl can nv really understand why am i being soo persisting. I am stubborn, tats the fact it will nv change.

I was out wif Colm, Kok and KK quite frequently these days. Out for supper, out for movies, planning kite flying session, nite safari session. Being out wif a grp of guys, can really make me understand whats the guys are thinking.. and it does make me hav a direction how to treat my next bf better. I hope.
And i wasn't feeling good when Colm's 'gf' is unhappy. I tried to step aside, and not to be too involved in ppl's affairs. I feel for her, but i realised there are ppl who are 10times worse than me... I see Colm feeling distress, mentally exhausted. I sensed Shen's helplessness.
There are many times when we lose it, we den realised how much we shdn't do or say out the wrong things to create unwanted tension. But like i say, it was all too late alr...



This is nice. hmmm.